


Will You Forget About Me?

by grantairas



Category: The Iliad - Homer, The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller
Genre: M/M, i can never think of good titles it's really awful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-25
Updated: 2014-05-25
Packaged: 2018-01-26 11:36:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1686902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grantairas/pseuds/grantairas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Patroclus chooses to remember a simpler time, instead of talking about the future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Will You Forget About Me?

You have always been aware of your limitations. Your mortality flaunted itself in the way you would trip over yourself on the marble floors, when you woke in the middle of the night from shadowy dreams. You stood beside him and it was all the more obvious. But still you raced, you wrestled, you fought. As you grew the embarrassment faded and you realized you had only imagined your own inferiority; you could be confident around him, and honest.  He held onto you tightly and sometimes softly. He breathed promises into your hair at night with his arm thrown over your waist, not promises of years, just of what you would do tomorrow. The stretch of beach you ran across and the trees you climbed made up the world, and that was enough.

Now you are much older, and although you can remember these things all clearly you know they are far away. You would like more than anything to believe they are a part of the present, but it is impossible. Sometimes, he speaks again of what the two of you can spend your next hours doing, and it is sweet, but not enough. Not enough because there is something waiting at the end of those next hours, and it is rarely talked about but it refuses to be ignored.

Achilles takes your hand one morning when he sees you are wide awake. “What are you thinking of, Patroclus?”

You will not say it. He does not have to hear it affirmed in your careful voice to know it exists.

Instead, you grip his hand a little tighter, weave your fingers through his. You lie in silence while the sun continues to rise.

You remember a time not very long ago, just before the war when you were standing together in the sea's waves. You did not have to speak loudly over the rolling water for him to hear you.

"Will you forget about me, ever?"

"Why would I? For what reason?"

You looked at him doubtfully. "You might... change. You will be constantly working. Even when you aren't fighting you will have important things to think about, and more important things to discuss. You might become so serious and preoccupied with everything you will not have time for me." With an obligatory shrug you added, "Not that I would blame you. And I would never be bitter about it."

He flashed his radiant smile, and with a swift turn he had you flat on your back with his strong hands gripping your wrists.

"It is so like you to worry about the future," he said gently. "No, Patroclus, I will never forget you. And I'm sure you will always be the serious one."

He kissed you, sweetly, with his weight still holding you down and the waves lapping at your bodies.

You share this memory with him. He smiles, as you expected. Almost instinctively you move your hand to rest in his hair, pulling him towards you possessively. It is normally Achilles who acts this way, treating you like you are something to be protected, and in a way you suppose you are. This does not feel like weakness with Achilles; it feels like strength.

He moves gratefully into the circle of your arms, sighing a little. This is a moment you have relived with him countless times, and will continue to repeat until you no longer have the choice. You should stop thinking of that day so much, but even in the peaceful morning quiet, you know you can't.

 


End file.
